MY FEAR OF MARRIAGE- OVERCOMING MY FEAR

 

Marriage... precisely 2 years ago, I wrote an article on My Fear of Marriage. 

I expressed my great concern for the institution that is marriage, how it had been made into a joke, a carnal union not based on our Christian values. I remember ending the article by making a prayer. I trusted God that He was going to lead me to the institution of marriage and that I was going to honor Him through it. 

And two years down the line, I have seen Him take complete control of my relationship matters. I remember sitting down and declaring that a time would come that I would love a girl enough to go down on one knee and ask her to marry me. 

As I was writing the article, I was still single... by choice. And in terms of relationship choices, I have learned so much to get to the point that I am at right now. I've had the desire to share a little bit of how the journey has been so far, and with so much effort, I am here asking God to help me find the right words to share just how much the journey has made an impact in my life and what God has taught me. 

1. Knowing God's Will

This for me was the starting point of my decision to stay single. I had made my own decisions for so long and I always ended up where I was, what I was doing and who I was. And it never ended well.

Many times, we want to be the ones to decide on our relationships; I have to confess that so many times I never really asked God if I should be dating the persons I dated before, and it never ended up progressing. I never dated for more than 3 months... maybe close to 4 months, but never getting there. 

This time it was different... God told me to wait and I decided I was going to listen to Him... and I waited. I remember making a vow to go down on my knees and pray to God to bring a girl my way, and He did

Interesting thing is, at the time I wrote the article, I had not held more than 5 conversations with my now fiance, and I never imagined in my wildest dreams that it is her I would now be planning to marry. But every step of us being here now has been led by God. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

Letting go of my own desires was the starting point of meeting Enid and I never regret it one bit. Getting our plans aligned to what God desires for us is the first step we need to take. If we are not in God, how else are we going to know the good plans He has for us???

2. God has sustained us this far

I sit back and look at where Enid and I have come from, from the first time we spoke on phone, to the first time I met her and to me noticing her... Our relationship has just flowed... I don't know how to explain that. 

How hard is it sometime to get a girl's number? At times you see a girl and you walk over and ask her for her number, and she has no motivation to give it.  I never had that challenge, she called me. I look at our first date... she did not say no or give me a hard time. God had built us, one step at a time, to a point of building our friendship enough for us to sit and have coffee together so many times, even before I asked her to be my girlfriend. 

The Challenging times we faced are when we each tried to create concerns and questions as to whether we were in the right place, when other people said things and it sounded like this relationship was the wrong one, when we compared each other to people outside the relationship and thought they were a better option. There were times that we both were just about to end the relationship, because it seemed the other person was not all in.

But there was always God's voice telling us to stick right there, reminding us that we did not get ourselves there and that it was He who did. 

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6

He reminded us, in our separate situations, that it is He who had brought us together and that He was able to sustain it. Sitting here right now and reminiscing on the journey so far, He really is the one who has got us to where we are right now. 

As we got into the relationship, God reminded us that, the most important thing, is that we need to honor Him even in our relationship, to keep ourselves pure and to glorify God in our relationship. I know Enid has taken time to write a little bit about some of the decisions we made in honoring God. I know we'll be writing more on this bit, but you can see her article here.

So let me put it this way, God led me a girl, I got a best friend and I fell in love with her, He has sustained us this far and we continue to trust that it is He who will get us to the end of our courtship and into marriage. And I know He will still continue to teach us and lead us to growth in our relationship.

God did answer one of the prayers I made in my article 2 years ago... that I'd go down on one knee and ask a girl I love to marry me, and that, with tears in her eyes, she'd say yes because of the love we have shared. And just like I had prayed, it happened. If I had doubted God's ability to answer prayers, there is no doubt now that He really does. 

Two years down the line, all I can say is that God has done it for us this far... and it is He who will continue to guide us.