I'M IN LOVE WITH A CHURCH GIRL

NO! This has got nothing to do with the movie with the same title...

So today I'm convicted to write about relationships... It is something I rarely do, but today, that's where God is leading. 

I have been learning a lot of lessons in my relationship and it has been one of the biggest growth points, especially in my relationship with God. He has been speaking into my life every single day even as I continue to welcome Him to take control of my relationship. 

I have to admit that I am in a situation that I have never experienced before in my life and I can only credit it to God's leading and having His way in my relationship. I want to start with a look back at where all this began. 

Some time in 2013, I made a commitment to give up on trying to get the right girl to go out with. Sometimes I hear advice being given; that in seeking a partner, you need to pray with one eye open. But in this particular instance, I decided I was going into prayer with both eyes closed. The only thing I was going to seek, was God's will. 

Now, at this point, I realized the error of one eye open... I was going to be searching for the best girl in my eyes instead of the one God had set aside for me. I had become accustomed to passing every girl through a list of criteria that I pictured as ideal in the girl I wanted to end up with. A few of my friends even came up with a 'type' for me. 

Coming to the realization that I always ended up with my type made me see that I very likely had ignored God's type and I was turning away from His will every time I did... So it had to be 100% His will. 

Getting to this point in my relationship all began with allowing God to take complete control of my situation and being led in who I am supposed to be with. I got to learn a new lesson last week at a training we are going through at our offices... 

"The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it, the world and all who live in it" Psalms 24:1

Now if you were to look at it in this very sense... that all (including your future relationships) belong to Him, then why not just go to the owner of all things and ask Him for the best thing for your life??

It has been life changing from the point of letting God take full control of my relationship, Him bringing my way a church girl, and Him sustaining our relationship till where we are right now. So many times we sit down and and we are amazed at how good God has been to us, how He is the one who has sustained us this far. So here's a few lessons I have learnt from when He gave me a church girl up to this point. 

1. It takes God to sustain a godly relationship

As I pointed out, it took God to bring a church girl my way... and one of the biggest lessons I have been learning is, just the same way I did not rely on my own understanding and strength to get into the relationship, then I do not rely on myself to sustain it. 

"Being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Philippians 1:6

As Paul was writing this letter, he was noting how God was the author of all the partnerships that he had, and since He was the start of it, then He was definitely going to sustain it to the end of it.  

What better way to look at our relationships, than to see them as authored and sustained by God?

2. Purpose beyond marriage

If, a few years ago, you asked me the purpose of getting into a relationship, I would probably have just told you it is marriage. I doubt I ever saw anything beyond getting a girl, wedding and starting our family together. I probably even got into this relationship with the very same view. 

But God has revealed to me that life is more than recognizing the success of a marriage as being happy, raising children and being financially stable. Last week, at our staff training, I got a new definition of what success should be... Success has God as its foundation and eternity as its perspective. 

I want to change that context a little bit for the sake of this particular discussion... Relationships have God as the foundation and eternity in perspective. There is much much more beyond what we experience in our lives here on earth. 

As Jesus was leaving the earth and giving the great commission (Matt 28:18-20), we are reminded that this particular instruction has no limit to it... that even in my relationship, I am being sent out to make disciples for Him, to preach the good news, to look out for those who are needy in the society (according to Matt 25:35-36)... because these are the very questions He will ask when I meet Him in heaven. 

Remember, all these things are His... and we are only stewards, using them all for His name to be glorified. 

3. The essence of boundaries

I have to point out, though previously stated in one of my previous blogs, that we have made a deliberate choice to keep our hands away from each other (forgive the very direct way I put that). 

I know a few people who have thought we are being a bit too radical with our stand to keep off what is meant for our marriage life until we are done with our vows. But I will always stand with what the word of God says. 

My reason to not kiss is this... 

"... Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." Songs of Solomon 2:7, 3:5, 8:4

Now why should I kiss and end up causing my body to lead me to sexual desires???

My reasons for abstaining from sex are these... 

"It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable" 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

There are so many verse to quote concerning keeping ourselves pure; honoring our bodies as temples (1 Corinthians 6:19), fleeing from sexual immorality (Galatians 5: 19-21) and the consequences of living in our flesh (Romans 8:13). 

But the best conclusion of dating a church girl and keeping our boundaries is this...

"How can a young man keep his ways pure? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against you" Psalms 119:9-11

So this church girl and I have decided that God's word will always be our foundation, that we'll not end up sinning against God.  

4. The devil is not happy
This has got to be the biggest lesson I have learnt from my relationship with this church girl... that we are in a constant battle even as we seek to live according to God's will. 

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" Ephesians 6:12

So who says the devil is ever happy when things go God's way??? I have come to learn that he will try all he can to compromise our testimonies. 

Even as Paul was advising the people of Ephesus that they are in battle, God has told us that our deliberate decisions to seek Him, to live according to His will, to resist the evil... in the very same way, the devil will rise against our relationship. 

Whenever you make that decision to welcome God in your relationship, the devil will throw all the 'curve balls' your way and Paul is reminding us, just as he did the Ephesians, that we should not be caught napping... get your armor on and brace yourself for the battle. 

5. Pray

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33

This has got to be the highlight of my relationship with a church girl... that we are called to pray and look for God so hard that he sustains the rest of our relationship. 

It has taken prayer to sustain our relationship, it has taken seeking God's will and it has taken us yielding to His will. 


I really do not know what reading this article means to you, I really do not know what situation you are in with your relationship... but this I can tell you for a fact; if you take God out of the equation that is you relationship, then I can bet you anything, you are heading for disaster. 

I am concluding this one by making a prayer in my heart for every person that gets a chance to read this, that the spirit of God will convict you enough to make God the foundation and eternity the perspective of your relationship.