My Fear of Marriage

Marriage... thinking about it, it is one of the most misunderstood institutions we have in the world today. Now I have to make it clear that I do not particularly fear getting married but I fear for the marriages in the world today.

It pains me when I sit in a matatu every morning and have to listen to Maina Kageni and Mwalimu King'ang'i's discussions that, more often than not, will be in reference to marriage; how men are cheating on their wives, how women are cheating on their husbands and how all of them believe they are doing the right thing.

Then there is this marriage bill that is being discussed in Parliament. Apparently, I can decide to take on a second wife and there will be legally no offense in doing so. And they say this is an improvement from the previous law which stated that you have to seek consent from the first wife... what improvement is there??? Someone please enlighten me.

What is marriage becoming dear people? When was love and commitment thrown out the window? Have you heard of the stories of bank tellers hitting on single men with fat bank accounts just to milk the money out of them? Is wealth the reason a woman will finally say I do? It pains me when this is what marriage has become. For the men, refer to my previous article Man Up and live up to what you are supposed to be. For the women... I do not know what to say.

We have made marriage a joke that it was not meant to be. It has become a platform for wealth and a shame to the society. Why would anyone want to destroy such a sacred and holy institution that God intended to bring joy, to impact the society and our spiritual lives so greatly; to make it rubbish, to make it so carnal and a mockery of what God intended it to be??

Call me naive, but for all I care, love is the only reason to get married. Love is what will bring a man and a woman together and unite them in the bond of marriage... not wealth and not for whatever other wrong reason people get married today.

Sitting in wedding ceremonies today has made me realize that vows have turned into beautiful poems we recite just as a ritual and not a commitment to the union that one is getting into. Is there any reason then that we sit in a church to witness the wedding if a few years down the line those words that you spoke do not make any sense any more???

But what does the Bible say about it??

Wives, submit to your husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body of which he is the Savior. Ephesians 6:22-23

Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. Ephesians 6:25

In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. Ephesians 6:28

So do we need a huge billboard for us to get this right?? Do we need it to be shouted from us to understand it?? marriage is holy, marriage is Godly and it is meant to glorify Him. Ever thought how God feels when He looks down at His people and sees how much rubbish we have made out of marriage. 

That being the case, I have made a vow that I will kneel down a pray to god to bring along that girl that I will spend the rest of my life with and one I have known it is her, I will not hesitate to make my vows to love her and to cherish her for the rest of my life... oh, and please do not rush me, I believe I will find her (that is if I have not yet met her) and you shall be made aware of this wonderful finding when it happens.

To be honest, I look forward to marriage. I look forward to finding that one girl who will take my breath away and will become part of me for the rest of my life. I look forward to the day I will stand at the alter and make an honest commitment to love her and to live the rest of my life with her. I look forward to loving, laughing and building life together with her, to argue when we do not agree, but even more so to make up when we reach a compromise.

Yes, I want it to be out of love that I will go down on one knee and ask her to marry me and wait for her, in tears of joy rolling down her cheeks, to say yes. Yes, I want to make that commitment to her because I will love her, and she will love me. I want to mean every single word that I will say as I make my vows.

I look forward to having children with her and taking crazy selfies with them. I look forward to working on my marriage and making it work. I look forward making eternal memories with her and most importantly, making our marriage bring glory to God.

I want to make my marriage work... but as for now, I just pray that God will direct us together and that she will be everything I ever wanted, I will be everything she ever wanted and that we shall both work to making our marriage everything that God intended for it to be.

Yes, I do want to get married, and I want to do it for every right reason that God intended it for.

50% Christian

Making it to work is becoming quite a hustle these days, especially with all the traffic that is clogging our roads. If you make a  mistake of getting to the stage a few minutes late, you will definitely end up stuck in massive traffic. However, it has opened up my mind on a certain area of my Christian life. 

I often admire the nice stickers people have on the rear of their cars that have some wonderful message on them. I'm sure quite a number of us have seen them. But the most interesting thing is that you place this person smack in the middle of traffic and salvation is put aside as this person struggles to make their way through; overlapping, honking their horn loudly, shouting some obscenities I cannot bring myself to quote here... yes, salvation takes a back seat and this guy just has to get his way.

That is where we fail as Christians, we are so quick to put Christianity aside when we know that there is another simpler way of getting things done for us.

Have you been in a matatu and the conductor gives you more change than is supposed to, or he does not ask you for your fare at all? How many of us would start thanking God for a miracle of a little extra cash in our pockets? Did you give that annoying policeman "a cup of tea" when he found you overlapping while in traffic? Did you give "kitu kidogo" to get the job you have now?

So many times we put aside the ways of Christianity when we really do not want to get in trouble or need a favor done for us and we assume that it has no effect on our lives. Well guess what, it starts with a bit and ends up as a habit, and eventually it becomes your character.

Another group of Christians are only Christians when they are around people, just so that they can know you are a Christian. How wrong we are... Christianity is to honor and bring glory to God. His intention for creating us is that His people, individually and in communion, remain pure and bring praises to Him. It does not matter whether I am shouting at the top of my voice or sitting quietly, the world has got to know who I am and they have to realize that I am a Christian; Iv got to praise Him in all I do.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things. -Philippians 4:8

Paul puts it very plain and simple, he does not say that it has to be in public or private, not at convenient times, not when it favors; it has got to be always, plain and simple. 

But remember this, we are as imperfect as it gets, our righteousness is likened to filthy rags and there is no way we can match up to Christ. Jesus is not only perfect man but unique Messiah and Savior, the only sacrifice for sin. He is the only route we can take to attain salvation since He made the perfect sacrifice when He died on the cross. He is the only way we can remain 100% Christian. 

Let us remain in Him and let us walk the talk.